Category: Parenting

These are the times that try moms’ souls. And dad too. No, we’re not talking American Revolution, merely bedtime for a child who does his darnedest to not fall asleep, no matter how exhausted he may be.

I finished his bed, so we started the transition earlier this week. I figured that would only serve to rejuvenate his unwillingness to sleep, because of the novelty of having a new big boy bed. And we haven’t been disappointed so far. Of course, expecting it and being prepared for it are two different things. The first day, he ended up never even taking a nap (although in fairness to him, we got him to bed much later than normal), and took over an hour to fall asleep that night. Now there’s no effort whatsoever involved in escaping – no rails to climb over and sides to scale down – so he’s out of bed before we even leave the room. On the plus side, he can get himself back into bed when he sees us coming…

Needless to say, emotions have run the gamut for everyone involved, from total frustration (everyone), physical exhaustion (everyone), excitement for his new bed (C), mental exhaustion (mom and dad), to crying (everyone). I tried pinning him to the bed, reasoning with him (logic tends to not work well on two-year olds), ignoring him, lying next to him – none worked; eventually he just laid down and didn’t get back up. As has always been the case, he would play until he dropped, and doesn’t realize or care how tired he clearly is; he just needs to keep going. I really think that you don’t appreciate sleep until you don’t get it anymore.

All that being said, when he does fall asleep, peaceful and small and curled up in the middle of his big bed, holding monkey and covered with his blanket, it makes you forget about the nightmare of the prior hour(s). At least enough to keep him around to do it again the next time.

(I was going to take a picture, but with the effort involved in getting him to sleep, there’s no way I’m going to take a chance that the click of the camera would wake him up.)

We’ve reached kind of a tenuous equilibrium with C and his sleep/escape artist routine. At nap time, he’s usually good for about an hour of jailbreaks before he finally falls asleep; unfortunately, usually while crying. Nights are better, mostly because he’s so tired by that point, he can’t fight as long. I’ve been letting him get out a few times just to get it out of his system, then I’ll lay him down and sit on the chair in his room until he falls asleep, which is generally within minutes. Occasionally, he’ll pick his head up to make sure I’m still there, but that’s about it. Must comfort him to know that I’m there, or just scare him into submission…

He’s also sleeping less – now, instead of going back to sleep when he wakes up (as he used to), he’ll decide that since he’s awake, he just might as well come downstairs. As a result, naps are averaging about an hour, where it used to be two, and he’s also up earlier in the morning. It is kinda funny though when he gets up in the morning (if it weren’t so early, it would be even funnier) – he’ll come into our room, turn the fan off, and pull the sheets off of us, because if he’s up, everybody needs to be up. I’ve tried reasoning with him, but of course, logic is not yet his strong suit. Poor boy just doesn’t understand that someday, he’ll want to sleep but won’t be able to, so he may as well stock up while he can.

I started his bed, but due to his lack of sleep, and almost complete lack of being-able-to-be-outside-unattended-while-I’m-working-without-running-into-the-street-or-the-bees-or-the-garden-or-the-dog-food-or-whatever-trouble-he-can-find, I’ve had very little time to do much. Which is unfortunate, because it’s a pretty simple project, and should only require a little bit more than very little time to finish. Such is life with a two-year old, I guess.

C recently figured out how to escape from his crib. While we’re very proud of him and encourage him to explore and discover new things, this one is tough. He’s never been a great sleeper (as in, he sleeps fine once he does fall asleep, but usually plays for a good hour, often longer, before he decides to shut down), so being able to escape sure complicates bedtime. He first got out a couple weeks ago, but knocked himself on the chin enough that it scared him for a while. Of course, practice makes perfect, so on Sunday he tried again, and had none of the earlier problems that he had experienced. I lowered the mattress, first to the lowest setting on the crib, then when that didn’t contain him, I just lowered it all the way to the floor. Yep, that didn’t work either. The rail is about at eye-level, and the boy can still get his leg up that high to pull himself out (good for him for being that flexible – in about 15 years, he won’t be able to lift his leg up past his waist…).

The most unfortunate part about it all is that he’s so stinking cute. If we’re sitting out in the hall, he’ll come out of his room and sit quietly next to us, or pat us on the back and say hi. He’ll sneak down the stairs as quietly as possible before jumping out to surprise us. The first time he got out on Sunday, he came downstairs and just walked over and said “Hi, mommy, hi, daddy,” with a big smile on his face, clearly impressed with what he had done and wanting us to share in his excitement with him. When I put him back in the crib, he said “Night, night,” closed his eyes, and hugged his monkey, thinking he could trick me, then as soon as I left his room, he was back up again. (I know, many parents of older kids are just smiling knowingly, but we’re first-timers here.) We repeated this for quite some time, then eventually it got so late that I just let him stay up. Bedtime wasn’t too bad Sunday night because he was so tired, but nap times so far this week have gone much the same way. The hard part is, he’ll finally get so frustrated that he’ll end up crying himself to sleep, which is hard to listen to, because he sounds so sad that we’re not letting him enjoy his newfound skills.

Our strategy so far has just been to keep putting him back in bed, not saying anything or making eye contact after the initial good-nights. He’s mostly unfazed by it all, and acts like nothing is out of the ordinary when he comes down, and it goes on for well over an hour. Then he starts to cry, at which point he’ll usually stay in.

We know it’s time for a bed, so that’s on the list, but I’m hoping that we can at least start working toward getting him to recognize what naps and bedtime are for, so that when we do get a bed, he’s already somewhat transitioned. He clearly still needs naps, but he would go all day if we let him. I’m glad he’s so curious and loves to explore, but, AAHHH! We (particularly S) count on him taking a nap in the afternoons, so we can either get something done, or do nothing.

So the question of the day is for any parents. I’m sure most kids go through something like this, if not escaping from cribs, at least in the transition to a bed. Any secrets? Or is it just persistence, and near-breakdowns for mommy and daddy for a while?